Nope.
I'm finished.

also amazing.

amazing.

"Never become attached to anything that continues to hurt God. For you to be free of it, God must be allowed to hurt whatever it may be." - Oswald Chambers

I have no idea why I let myself go as far as I go, firstly toeing the line of sin, then stepping slightly over it, then going that little bit further, and then a little bit more. Until I look behind me and I see that the line is no longer a line, but a dot as I'm so far past the standard God has set for me.
This is my problem, I do not trust God.
I don't write that with pride in my heart, but with tears in my eyes. I don't trust God, my saviour Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and bore my sins so that I wouldn't suffer. I don't trust Him. I realised that today, I didn't know that I had grown to become so bitter toward Him, but I have. I don't want this, I want the joy, the continual overflowing of a good theme in my heart, I want the abundant love poured down from the heavens with such lavishness that I can barely believe it.
I digress. I have become very attached to something that continues to hurt God. Something else has that place in my heart where the Holy Spirit should be indwelling, and my heart hurts because of this. I also don't know if my prayers are heard because of this (Psalm 66.18), yet I continue to keep a firm grip.
I need...i don't know.

i read over my last posts with regret in my heart.
I've done it again, and am still in the process of doing it. The worst part about it all is that I don't want to stop. I really don't.

“I can’t stand your religious meetings.
I’m fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I’m sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I’ve had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That’s what I want. That’s all I want.


Ouch. Amos 5 21-24

How Time Does Fly.
Finished working in Còrdova, complete with a successful parents evening conducted in Spanish!
Great. I am actually going to miss some of my kids.
Home for a few weeks.
Meals out, beach bonfires, trips to town, church, London, York for the pastors conf.
My parents are moving house, so sad to see this one go, it really does hold a lot of memories.
Switzerland.
Sister visiting, teaching children, exploring a new country, lots of photographic opportunities.
London.
America.
New York, New Jersey, Philly, Seattle, California. And maybe Canada.
Friends, churches, family.

Oh life is a fine thing!

"Keep your feet from going unshod
and your throat from thirst.
But you said, It is hopeless,
for I have loved foreigners,
and after them I will go."

Even if you are half way through a sin, God is calling out to you to stop. You can stop, it isn't hopeless!